Slooowww....

Slowly fading away...

Things didn't work out with Erin... After we made out, like 8 times, she tells me she thinks this "relationship" won't work out...

Silence...

Because if you knew it wouldn't work out, then why did you make me fly high?...

So this is what I sent her on Saturday - mind you, there hasn't been an answer as of today...

"I have dreamed a dream, and now that dream has gone from me...

I don't know, but this really did strike me. It probably was because I was literally dreaming of you. It probably was because I kept thinking about you. Because I put my hopes, my dreams in you. Maybe because I tried to love you and understand you, because I tried to be there for you. And I don't want to come across like a fool for love, but yes, I did fall for you... You gave me wings, but I guess I defied the sun and this is what I get.

The only thing I don't get is why you didn't let me fight for you, why you didn't let me help you heal your broken heart. I know what it's like to have a broken heart. I know what it's like, and I could have helped you... But I guess it wasn't me. And I don't blame you. I know how hard it is to open up your heart, and trust another person. But you made your choice. You chose what you felt was right for you. And that's something that I will probably never understand.

I am still hurting, I don't know why. Maybe I did fall for you that hard. Maybe those kisses, and the words you said that night were true... But in the end, I guess you were only a dream...

And no, I am not trying to tell you to take me back. I'm not trying to tell you that I'm your best option or anything. But I do hope you find the peace you are looking for. And I hope that in the end, you can look back and laugh at the gilded butterflies..."

It kind of bothers me, you know... Because, and like I stated above, even though I am not a savior, nor am I an "ointment" for a broken heart, you could have just said: "Hey, I'm hurt and everything" And I would have tried for you. But you didn't let me.

Probably it was for the best. I don't know. Right now I don't have time to be pondering about why you took that decision. So I'll just leave it alone, and move on...

So...
New life, new... everything?

Update time, kids!!! Gather 'round...

1. I'm graduating on May 12 - if, and only if, I pass these two courses which are literally "raping" me
2. I'm not out of Sears yet. Enough said
3. I'm starting to talk to this girl, Erin. I tell you man, she's got me... hypnotized with everything in her...
4. I'm still driving the "Tumbler"
5. I'm growing out my hair, and it's taking a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time to do it
6. There is no number six
7. I lost weight?
8. I'm still trying to save for the 350z... Gonna be a while now, buddy... Mason is coming up, and I hear it's like, $2,000 per credit or something
9. I haven't started my band yet... YET.


So there you have it.